Cathy's Birthday

I'm taking the liberty of reposting what Scott posted on Facebook today:

Today's would have been my friend Cathy's 48th birthday. Here's your horoscope, Cathy, for what could have been: This year you see life from a more caring perspective. You develop more empathy for people and gain understanding. Sometimes you could be jolted by your insights. Use care with your finances. Do not take risks where you cannot take the loss. If you are single, your circle of friends might change, and you could meet someone quite intense. When relating to this person, you will review many of your life assumptions. If you are attached, there could be financial struggles. Reduce the quarreling. Consider getting separate bank accounts. Share a change in your perspectives about life, money or love. LIBRA is indulgent.

(That's Cathy, back row, third from the left.)

Thanksgiving 2011

I thought it was time to post a new photo.

This old gem was taken outside my house at the time, 172 Johnson Street (I think) in Kingston, back in 1986 or what would have been Cathy's third year at Queen's.

Using the best Hibachi technology of the day, we had ourselves a great little barbeque on the front porch.

From left to right, that's me, Marse, Cathy, and Rhonda.

Summertime

The end of summer brings back a lot of memories of Cathy for me.

Right about know she would be taking her summer holidays, touring her favourite galleries and riding Toronto’s bike trails in her favourite bikini top.

Her phone calls would come in: “c’monnnnn…let’s go do something fun!” “Let’s go for a bike ride!” or “Whoohoo! Lets go for a drink on a patio!”

Right about know she would also be planning her TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) experience for the year. What films would she see, which celebs would be in town, and which gala’s did I think Scott would get us in to?

This photo reminds me of Cathy on her summer holidays. I think it was taken on the Wolfe Island Ferry, probably in the mid to late 90s, and probably as she was heading over to Wolfe Island to for a bike ride. Sun, water, and bike riding...three of her favourite things.

One Year

Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of the creation of this blog. It was originally created to share the progress of Cathy's recovery with friends and family. I can honestly say that, at that time, I thought she would fully recover, and we'd have the old Cathy back.

What a difference a year makes. Or a month. Or a day. Life goes by fast. Death comes quickly.

Cathy had her major surgery around this time about a year ago. It was a scary time, and I realize now that we never really knew how scary the results actually were. She did not want people to know the specific details of her "recovery", as she did not want people to worry.

We were only allowed to reveal so much on this blog. If you look back at the posts, there is always a cautious optimism in the tone. I think we were willing ourselves to think positively, that everything would be OK.

But life marches on, with no pause for those it's left behind. We've all gone more or less back to our daily routines. But it is never easy. I'll find myself staring into the mirror in the morning asking, "WTF - did this really happen?"

It's interesting to me that this blog still gets traffic. Quite a few visitors a week, actually. So I will keep it going, as it obviously serves some kind of purpose, if only for the selfish reason that it helps keep me sane.

I've put back smiling Cathy, as that's how we ultimately remember her. And I've updated the look from it's funereal theme of the past few months. Grief will come and go, but our happy memories, the recall of her laughter, will always be there.

Thanks for hearing me out, whoever is out there.

Birthdays & Festivals

Today Cathy would have turned 46 1/2. Yes, she was one of the few people around who celebrated their Half Birthday, if only to give everyone six months notice that her real birthday was coming up.

We are also thinking about Cathy today as the Toronto International Film Festival begins tonight. That these two momentous ocassions are colliding on the same date would have been a great delight to her.

TIFF was clearly one of her most favourite times of the year. A lot of us have great memories of attending films with her, or just stalking...er...hanging out in Yorkville hoping to catch a glimpse of one of her favourite celebrities.

If anyone goes to TIFF this year, let's leave an extra seat for Cathy.

Memorial Photos Now Posted

View them here:

Thank You

Thank you to everyone who participated in and contributed to last evening's memorial. The general consensus is that it is just what Catherine would have wanted. We will be posting photos from the event next week to the blog. In the meantime, many have asked about the closing poem. I have posted it below:

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

- Henry Scott Holland

Remembering Catherine: A Celebration

Details are now confirmed for the AGO memorial for Catherine. The event will take place on Thursday, July 22 at 6 p.m. in the Galleria Italia at the Art Gallery of Ontario. There will be music, some of Catherine's artwork, and the sharing of happy memories of our dear friend. Those attending just need to show up at the main entrance to the AGO, and you will be escorted to the Galleria.

Following the memorial, a reception will be held at the AGO's FRANK restaurant, at approximately 7 p.m.

The invite is posted above. Please RSVP to friendsofcatherine@rogers.com by July 20.

If you would like to forward the invite to anyone you know who might be interested in attending, please let me know at scott.henderson@rogers.com and I will send it to you as an attachment.

Additionally, we will be reading out anecdotes and memories from Catherine's friends and co-workers that have been posted to this blog and elsewhere. If you have a memory to share, please post it here and we will try to include as many as possible.

Looking For Your Memories...

Hi Friends of Catherine

As you know, planning for our arts and culture style memorial are starting to come together for July 22nd (thanks Scott!!). We will have our DVD photo tribute of Catherine's life on display once again. I would like to add your favourite photos of Catherine as I know there are parts of her life that I did not capture. I would especially like to include more photos of CC and her art and her time in Kingston. If you have any photos that you would like me to include, please email to bkubilius@acanac.net

Thanks, Barb

AGO Memorial Confirmed for Thursday, July 22

More details to follow as they are confirmed.

AGO Memorial This July

It's been one week since Catherine's passing. And as each day goes by, it doesn't get any easier. It is still uncomprehensible that we will never hear CC's raucous laugh again, that we will never hear the clang of her bangles, that we will never see her mischievous smile, that we will never marvel at her make up, that we will never witness her fiery passion....ever, again.

This blog has been a cource of comfort, not only to CC's family, friends and co-workers, but to CC herself. In her last weeks when she wasn't up for communication, she would visit the blog on her iPod from her hospital bed. And in the days following her passing, literally hundreds of people visited the site, catching up with CC's story, re-connecting with shared friends from her past.

And so on this one week anniversary, the moderators of this blog would like to thank everyone for visiting and posting their comments and for sharing in Catherine's life as it came to an end.

We would also like to announce that a memorial tribute to Catherine at the AGO is being planned for this July. This will be a time for CC's friends, family and co-workers to come together and pay tribute to her in the building and institution in which she took such enormous pride. We are also hoping to exhibit some of her art at the event, and we can take comfort knowing that she would have loved having her artwork exhibited at the AGO!

The blog will continue to be updated as details are confirmed for the event. We encourage you to "stay tuned" until then.

On behalf of Catherine's famly and friends, thank you.

Ontario Culture Vulture

The following is an account of CC's career in the Ontario Public Service and was posted on the government intranet by CC's colleagues:

Catherine Ciavarella passed away on June 6, 2010. Many of you will remember Catherine. She was very passionate and knowledgeable about her work in culture and with the ministry’s agencies. Catherine was a great lover of art, architecture, and design and was devoted to the not-for-profit sector. She loved film and was an avid Toronto International Film Festival (TIFF) attendee. Her contributions were appreciated and she will be missed.


Catherine began her OPS career in November 2000. She often told colleagues about her first day of work, eagerly arriving on Remembrance Day to discover that provincial offices were closed. Before joining the OPS, Catherine was the Executive Director of the Kingston chapter of the Ontario Council of Agencies Serving Immigrants (OCASI).

Neil Downs was a technical advisor on the interview panel when Catherine was hired. Neil’s lead file was the Ontario Trillium Foundation (OTF). John Shipman was the Manager of the Voluntary Initiatives Unit with the Ministry of Citizenship, Culture and Recreation and he recruited Catherine to provide additional policy advisor support and back up on the OTF file. Soon after she was hired, Neil began a secondment as Manager, Corporate Policy and Catherine became the key policy advisor to the OTF.

In February 2001, the ministry was reorganized and Catherine moved with the OTF file to MGS before returning to the Culture Agencies Unit managed by Shirley Phillips. While working with Shirley, Catherine led a major program review of OTF and then took on the Art Gallery of Ontario (AGO) portfolio, working closely with the gallery during the Transformation AGO project. She became extremely knowledgeable about the ‘world’ of agencies. During this time, Catherine also chaired the ministry’s Discovery Awards. She mentored interns and summer students, and made it a unique experience for all of them. Catherine was the organizer of all staff birthday celebrations, parties, social events (which usually involved after hours martinis), baseball and the annual Academy Awards staff lottery.

In November 2004, Neil Downs followed Shirley as Manager of the Culture Agencies Unit. Catherine became lead Agency Coordinator for the Royal Botanical Gardens. From 2004 to May 2007, Neil relied on Catherine as the Unit’s most senior Agency Coordinator. In addition to the RBG, she continued to work with the OTF and AGO. Later, Catherine became the lead Agency Coordinator for the Royal Ontario Museum (ROM) as they underwent their significant Renaissance ROM capital renovation. Catherine continued as MCL’s social convenor, organizing the popular “Tapas Tuesdays”.

In 2007, the Culture Liaison Unit was established, managed by Suzanne Rowe Knight. Catherine was a member of this ‘small but mighty’ team continuing her work with the AGO, OTF, RBG and ROM. Eventually, the McMichael Canadian Art Collection was added to her portfolio. Over the years, Catherine was involved with most of the ministry’s cultural agencies in some capacity. She also worked with many areas of the ministry and the OPS. Catherine was a member of the Corporate Resources Branch Performance Measures Team, and represented the Unit at the inter-ministerial Agency Coordinators’ Forum meetings. She worked closely with the Sports, Culture and Tourism Partnerships Secretariat on the AGO, RBG and ROM capital projects, and with the Legal Services Branch on numerous Foreign Cultural Objects Immunity from Seizure requests to protect cultural objects while on exhibition in Ontario.

Catherine was absolutely passionate about her files. She had a firm understanding of relevant agency legislation and directives, most importantly the Agency Establishment and Accountability Directive, and she worked hard on behalf of the cultural agencies to ensure central agencies, particularly MBS/MGS, provided the support needed so that these important cultural institutions would grow and prosper.

We are coordinating a donation to the Princess Margaret Hospital in memory of Catherine. If you would like to join us, please contact Ann Kavanagh in the Culture Agencies Branch before Tuesday, June 15th. Ann can be reached by phone at 416-314-7610 or email at ann.kavanagh@ontario.ca

Our thoughts and sympathies are with Catherine’s family, friends and colleagues.

Steven Davidson

ADM, Culture Division

In Tribute

On the day of her funeral, Barb, Connie, Hilary, Rhonda and I remember our dear friend:

- She was foremost a creative person. A trained artist, she loved beauty in all forms, from art to music to film to architecture.
- She placed family first: she was a devoted daughter and aunt, and loved her mother and her nephews above all.
- She was a loyal, loyal friend. She had tremendous compassion, sharing in both the happiness and sadness of her friends and co-workers.
- She new how important it was to mark life’s progress. She remembered everyone’s birthdays, including her own.
- She was vivacious, with an enormous sense of fun. She had a fabulous wit, loved to laugh, and found humour in the most mundane.
- She was passionate and intelligent, and liked to debate and discuss.
- She knew how precious life was, and as a result engaged in life full throttle. She understood how to make moments matter, and then held them dear to her heart.
- She had a love for culture. She had enormous pride in contributing to the renaissance of the AGO and ROM.
- Her perfect day was a ride on her bike, a dip in water and some sunshine on her body.
- She was elegant, with a distinct personal style and beauty.
- She loved to dance.
- She didn’t covet a large amount of material possessions; rather, just a few things of quality and meaning.
- She had a great sense of place, and was equally home in Hamilton, Kingston and Toronto.

UPDATE: Read more tributes to Catherine here: http://www.meaningfulfunerals.net/fh/obituaries/tributes.cfm?o_id=635052&fh_id=12177&s_id=CE9E7BAB263055CF8620E9F5008FB698

Now at Peace

It is with devastating sadness that we announce together that Catherine passed away early this morning. Catherine fought her disease as she lived her life, fearlessly, refusing to give up until the very end.

A visitation is planned for Tuesday, June 8 at Friscolanti Funeral Home (43 Barton St. East near James) in Hamilton from 2-4 p.m. and 6-9 p.m.

The funeral will be held at St. Eugene's Roman Catholic Church (232 Queenston Road at Parkdale Avenue N.) in Hamilton on Wednesday, June 9 at 10 a.m.

We encourage everyone to share their memories with Catherine on this website, so that we may mourn collectively and celebrate her life together.

UPDATE: Read Catherine's obituary here: http://www.lifenews.ca/thespec/profile/100322--ciavarella-catherine-ann

UPDATE: Catherine's obituary in the Kingston Whig-Standard: http://yourlifemoments.ca/sitepages/obituary.asp?oId=398147

Home at last!

Catherine was finally released from hospital on Friday after 19 days! She had a few painful procedures while there but is hoping they will help manage some of the symptoms that are making her uncomfortable. The new oral chemo that she is taking has a major side effect of fatigue. Cathy is extremely exhausted, weak and unable to do much right now. She appreciates the good wishes but needs privacy and quiet at the moment. Her mom has been by her side for the last week or so which has been a wonderful support to Catherine.

2 Weeks in Hospital is Too Much!

Catherine is still in hospital while the doctors try to figure out how to relieve her symptoms and achieve a fluid balance in her body. Feeling pretty fatigued, uncomfortable and frustrated -understandably so. Catherine is not feeling up to visitors or talking on the phone. On the bright size, CC looks surprisingly good with her supershort hair as it starts to grow in.

Fiesty

CC is still in the hospital, but doing OK. She almost headed home today, but it was decided to do another minor procedure, which should happen over the next few days. Fingers crossed she will be home for the long weekend.

CC has assumed (resumed?) a new fiesty spirit, which is great to see. She has been asking questions non-stop to her doctors and is fully engaged in her treatment. All-in-all her hospital stay is making her more comfortable.It is tough going for sure but every now and then she has been letting fly a few zingers, as is her way.

Back in the Hospital

Unfortunately, CC has been admitted to hospital again for a few days for some minor procedures. As she deals with these next steps in her recovery, she would like to thank everyone for their concern but asks people refrain from visits and phone calls.

Back on Track

CC has begun the next stage of her treatment as of last night. In preparation, we had a couple of appointments yesterday followed by a trip to the drive-in at McDonald's for dinner.  We shared some fries and had a nice drive home with the windows down, soaking up the fresh air on a beautiful spring day.

Barb drove CC to Burlington on Friday, where she enjoyed a two-night visit to her brother's and helped celebrate her newphew's birthday. Otherwise, CC has been been building her strength in anticipation of this round of treatment while staying in constant contact on her new iPod.

I hadn't seen CC in a while and I must say she was looking good. Fingers crossed that there will be no major side effects as we enter into this phase!

This Week

Am doing ok- have been getting better since radiation. Will be seeing doc tomorrow and may be moving forward again with treatment...am getting out and about a bit which is really good.