Cathy's Birthday

I'm taking the liberty of reposting what Scott posted on Facebook today:

Today's would have been my friend Cathy's 48th birthday. Here's your horoscope, Cathy, for what could have been: This year you see life from a more caring perspective. You develop more empathy for people and gain understanding. Sometimes you could be jolted by your insights. Use care with your finances. Do not take risks where you cannot take the loss. If you are single, your circle of friends might change, and you could meet someone quite intense. When relating to this person, you will review many of your life assumptions. If you are attached, there could be financial struggles. Reduce the quarreling. Consider getting separate bank accounts. Share a change in your perspectives about life, money or love. LIBRA is indulgent.

(That's Cathy, back row, third from the left.)

Thanksgiving 2011

I thought it was time to post a new photo.

This old gem was taken outside my house at the time, 172 Johnson Street (I think) in Kingston, back in 1986 or what would have been Cathy's third year at Queen's.

Using the best Hibachi technology of the day, we had ourselves a great little barbeque on the front porch.

From left to right, that's me, Marse, Cathy, and Rhonda.

Summertime

The end of summer brings back a lot of memories of Cathy for me.

Right about know she would be taking her summer holidays, touring her favourite galleries and riding Toronto’s bike trails in her favourite bikini top.

Her phone calls would come in: “c’monnnnn…let’s go do something fun!” “Let’s go for a bike ride!” or “Whoohoo! Lets go for a drink on a patio!”

Right about know she would also be planning her TIFF (Toronto International Film Festival) experience for the year. What films would she see, which celebs would be in town, and which gala’s did I think Scott would get us in to?

This photo reminds me of Cathy on her summer holidays. I think it was taken on the Wolfe Island Ferry, probably in the mid to late 90s, and probably as she was heading over to Wolfe Island to for a bike ride. Sun, water, and bike riding...three of her favourite things.

One Year

Tomorrow will be the one year anniversary of the creation of this blog. It was originally created to share the progress of Cathy's recovery with friends and family. I can honestly say that, at that time, I thought she would fully recover, and we'd have the old Cathy back.

What a difference a year makes. Or a month. Or a day. Life goes by fast. Death comes quickly.

Cathy had her major surgery around this time about a year ago. It was a scary time, and I realize now that we never really knew how scary the results actually were. She did not want people to know the specific details of her "recovery", as she did not want people to worry.

We were only allowed to reveal so much on this blog. If you look back at the posts, there is always a cautious optimism in the tone. I think we were willing ourselves to think positively, that everything would be OK.

But life marches on, with no pause for those it's left behind. We've all gone more or less back to our daily routines. But it is never easy. I'll find myself staring into the mirror in the morning asking, "WTF - did this really happen?"

It's interesting to me that this blog still gets traffic. Quite a few visitors a week, actually. So I will keep it going, as it obviously serves some kind of purpose, if only for the selfish reason that it helps keep me sane.

I've put back smiling Cathy, as that's how we ultimately remember her. And I've updated the look from it's funereal theme of the past few months. Grief will come and go, but our happy memories, the recall of her laughter, will always be there.

Thanks for hearing me out, whoever is out there.

Birthdays & Festivals

Today Cathy would have turned 46 1/2. Yes, she was one of the few people around who celebrated their Half Birthday, if only to give everyone six months notice that her real birthday was coming up.

We are also thinking about Cathy today as the Toronto International Film Festival begins tonight. That these two momentous ocassions are colliding on the same date would have been a great delight to her.

TIFF was clearly one of her most favourite times of the year. A lot of us have great memories of attending films with her, or just stalking...er...hanging out in Yorkville hoping to catch a glimpse of one of her favourite celebrities.

If anyone goes to TIFF this year, let's leave an extra seat for Cathy.

Memorial Photos Now Posted

View them here:

Thank You

Thank you to everyone who participated in and contributed to last evening's memorial. The general consensus is that it is just what Catherine would have wanted. We will be posting photos from the event next week to the blog. In the meantime, many have asked about the closing poem. I have posted it below:

Death is nothing at all.
I have only slipped away to the next room.
I am I and you are you.
Whatever we were to each other,
That, we still are.

Call me by my old familiar name.
Speak to me in the easy way
which you always used.
Put no difference into your tone.
Wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow.

Laugh as we always laughed
at the little jokes we enjoyed together.
Play, smile, think of me. Pray for me.
Let my name be ever the household word
that it always was.
Let it be spoken without effect.
Without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant.
It is the same that it ever was.
There is absolute unbroken continuity.
Why should I be out of mind
because I am out of sight?

I am but waiting for you.
For an interval.
Somewhere. Very near.
Just around the corner.

All is well.

- Henry Scott Holland